The Day Of Christmas

It was the day of christmas. There were presents galore. Presents that covered the entire floor. The stockings were filled to the top, looked like their seems were about to pop. The children were thrilled, as they rushed out. They knew there were lots, there was no doubt. I was awakened by the sound of […]

Horrific Wedding

I was a teenage zombie when I decided to get married to Jennifer on halloween. I couldn’t wait to touch Jennifer’s body during our zombie honeymoon and I knew she couldn’t wait to be the bride of Chucky. The lost boys were my groomsmen who all wore the shining pocket watches I gave them. Jennifer’s brides maids all wore […]

Cynical New Moon list

A couple nights ago, I sat through New Moon, with a pen and paper, writing down my thoughts during the movie.  So I can enjoy making fun of it & people can enjoy reading it.  I hope, anyway.  I know there must be more but these are what I wrote down as I watched it.  […]

Right name, Wrong Number

I called my friend Matt and I thought he’d answer since I just hung up the phone with him.  I forgot to mention something so I caled him right back.  Only a female answered so I thought it was his girfriend only it didn’t quite sound like her. I was like, “Uhhhh is Matt there?” […]

I post something talking about a subject that annoys me or if I’m just venting, almost always somebody thinks that I’m just being bitchy.  I have a whole pic folder dedicated to things that annoy me.  But that shit is funny!  I say what other people think.  A lot of people think it’s hillarious (as […]

Vocabulary Enhancers

Language is ok without cuss words, but language is better with vocabulary enhancers, which are cuss words.  I got that term from an episode of Spongebob.  Spongebob was reading graffiti and when he came across a word he never heard, a dolphin noise came out.  He walked around all day saying “How the _____ (dolphin […]

The World’s dirtiest joke

First I’d like to do some explaning about this joke.  I had never heard of it, til last night, watching HBO.  It goes back to the days of vaudville, but no one told it on stage. Mainly just comedians told it backstage.  It was just a long raunchy joke, that always started & ended the same.   […]