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Cynical New Moon list

A couple nights ago, I sat through New Moon, with a pen and paper, writing down my thoughts during the movie.  So I can enjoy making fun of it & people can enjoy reading it.  I hope, anyway.  I know there must be more but these are what I wrote down as I watched it.  I’m not sitting through that again.


1.The vampire is 109 years old and still in school?  Talk about a dumbass!


2.The people in school don’t say a word to vampire about his red cheeks and ruby red lips.  If that was real he would have had his ass kicked for wearing make up.


3.Non killing vampires?  Come on!  What kind of pussy shit is that?  Rip into a human jugular vein & then ya have a real vampire.


4.Vampires don’t fucking sparkle!


5.I would love to  punch the creator of this right in the throat.  I mean the 1 who started it all.  The author of the books.


6.  The girl’s girl friend is so damn  annoying I want to choke her as I listen to her speak.


7.  The lead female must be a lesbian.  She loves pussies.


8. How is getting a tattoo & haircut relevant to becoming a werewolf?


9. He says he was BORN a werewolf.  Werewolves are MADE from a werewolf bite, if the bitten 1 survives.


10.  This movie makes me want to headbut a teenager.


11.  They should have just had a threesome and just got it over with.


3 Responses to “Cynical New Moon list”

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