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My Cynical Twilight Eclipse Review

I though I did this a long time ago but it turns out, I just kept putting this off.  I wrote a list while watching that 1st twilight movie last year or whatever about my thoughts as I watched it.  Then I came here and put the list in blog form.  I’ve done the same thing with Eclipse.  This is cynical and I hope humorus. I know it’s not even really a review.  Whatever. If you don’t like it, don’t continue reading, and be sure to remove the stick out of your ass.  Okay with that said, here’s what I wrote down as I watched.


Right out of the gate, the vamp & the girl are kissig in a field of flowers in the sun. That vampire needs to burst into flames.


Nice lipstick on the vamp.  I thought vamps were dead.  So why’s he got ruby red lips and cheeks?  Fucking horrid!


Stake him then go find the Lost Boys or something.


Nobody notices the vamp just can’t get out of school?  He graduates then comes back to school yearly?  The teachers don’t question that?


She’s not the least bit creeped out or pissed off that the vamp constantly watches and follows her? He’s got severe jealousy issues.  Stake him!


What’s up with the wolves not being more vicious and going on killing sprees?


The blond vamp chick is kinda hot.


Maybe I just don’t like Robert Patinson or something cuz I think he’s the ugliest of all the vampires.


The wolves are as big as a fucking horse!  Who directed this shit?


She said yes to marriage so he’d fuck her.  She graduated high school and still a virgin.  She’s desperate.


She wants to spend eternity with a clingy, jealous freak?  Stake her!!


Vampires don’t fucking sparkle!!!


She doesn’t budge when the 2 are tlking right above her.  I’d be like “Stfu!  I’m trying to sleep!”


Poor Wolf.  She wants to be with a cold, jealous clingy freak in stead. BURN


Why are they in that fucking lame ass field of flowers again?


Marriage is til death do you part.  They are gonna have a long miserable existance.


Well, that’s it.  I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I caught & I am so not sitting through it again.


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