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More on Death…Am I Crazy?

For a while now ( at least all this year) I’ve thought that I’m gonna die at 38.  I do have a bit of a psychic ability.  It is AWESOME!  Some people can just sort of predict their death…Like there was this actress who was completely terrified of dark water her whole life and drowned in a lake when she was drunk 1 night.  I have no idea how I’m going to die.  I have no odd fear like that or anything.  I just keep thinking I will die in just a few years from now.  I often predict songs coming on or what someone’s gonna say, or what’s about to happen.  I predict things all the time.  I only recall one time that I was wrong about a prediction and that was recently.


But I honestly do not want to be old so I don’t know if I’m having a premonition or if it’s just wishful thinking. I don’t want to take my own life but I really can not see me passed the age of 38.That was kind of worded like if I am 38, I will take my life.  That way is not how I meant.  But no one will read this so it’s all good.  Then again years ago, I could never see me as the age I am now.  I kind of can’t wait to see if I’m right and I kind of want to live forever.  Everyone dies sooner or later though.  I’m only truly scared of HOW I will die.  Will I be in a car accident or disembowled while still alive?  Maybe I’ll have a seizure and it won’t be any big deal.  No idea but I wish I knew.  I don’t like secrets especially if it’s about me.  Let everything out in the open!  I’m an open book and I wish the very end of my life will be too.  Just so I could be prepared.


Speaking of being prepared, not long ago I requested forms to be sent to me about donating my body to science. What I would really like is for my body thrown into the ocean or some wild life for the animals to devour but that won’t happen though so this was the next best thing.  The forms came today and I looked them over and became sad.  I was mourning the loss of me.  Of couse it’ll just be my physical body but this body is sensational!  My body would go to a medical scool in Portland, Oregon if I do this.  They’ll do what they need then cremate the rest.  I don’t really want to be cremated.  I want to be completely used.  What I would really want is to go to a body farm, which is for forensic science..  The body would be in a freezer until it’s time to use then I’ll be placed in a setting and I’ll be decayed til there’s just a skeleton then even still the bones will be used.  That’s ideal!  Everything would be free, unless the body’s more than 200 miles away and I’m just a bit over 500 miles away.  So that’s probably out.  I don’t want there to be any costs.  I don’t even want a funeral.  A party, yes.  Funeral, no!  No mortuary, no creepy open casket, no grave site, etc.  Everyone wear jeans and t shirts or whatever your comfortable in, play metal & classic rock, drink booze, smoke pot, & get laid.  Normal party stuff.  Have fun remembering me.  Don’t be a Debbie Downer.   (I think I’ve lost my mind.  Hey, at least I’m aware of it)



The medical school donation would be completely free to transport me so I am leaning more toward that one.  I don’t know if I’ll have enough money in the bank for the body farm transport when time comes.  So, the medical school thing is what I’ll probably do.  When they cremate my remains they’ll either give them to a relative or sprinkle me on the earth there.  I do not want to go to any relative’s unless I’m a ghost then.  Being sprinkled on the earth would be swell.


I also have no idea if there’s a heaven or hell.  I think that there’s a whole nother side and the ba people just automatically get reborn in a new life.  But there’s no cold hard proof.  If there is a “heaven”, will the bouncer even let me in?  I have a very evil side to me but then I have a really good side.  I’m kind of split down the middle.  Once I had my soul read.  He was able to tell if my soul was black or white.  My soul, according to that reading is dark gray.  That’s almost pure evil.  I do believe what he said cuz some phenominal shit happened in that part of my life that you would only believe if you saw it.  The guy told me that about my sole before I even really knew him.  I don’t want to just be automatically recycled into the next life.  I want to mess with the living and come and go from the other side as I please.  A truly evil person doesn’t care about their sole though.  So I think I’m safe.


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