The only bad thing  about winter being over, is girls are all out now, wearing clothes that don’t fit them.  In public. For everyone else to see & be disgusted as they whisper to whomever they are with about the repulsive display.

  .   I was out with my mom & grandma at Wal-Mart, to have my kid’s picture taken.  Yes Wal-mart.  I don’t care if you hate Wal-Mart, I have no problem with the place.  Anyway, I was there filling out a card for the pictures.  Mom & Grandma quietly said to me,”Look at that.”  I looked over & was absolutely horrified.  I looked at the back of this chick & saw huge thighs, complete with cottage cheese.  That was fine, (the cottage cheese factor) cuz it wasn’t that much.  My eyes moved up a bit to see a huge ass, barely contained in jean shorts, that were, I swear on my life, 3-5 sizes to small.  That was sick, but I noticed that wasn’t the end of the repulsiveness.  My eyes moved up a bit more & saw she was wearing a tiny black stretch lacy top, that had her massive muffin top showing from all sides.  She wasn’t real fat, I’m guessing around 150 pounds.  But her clothes made her look like she was heavier than that, like she was trying to be fat. I didn’t see the front of her, or else I probably would have seen more wrong. It was like a bad car accident.  Couldn’t take my eyes off of the disaster.  Good thing I have a strong ( & at that time, empty) stomach.

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy… why do we tell children these lies?  I never thought about it til I had a kid. 

When I was little, I was maybe 7 when I found out Santa wasn’t real.  My uncle usded to dress up as Santa & 1 year, I said who it really was.  I didn’t really care.  No skin off my back. Then instantly, I knew the tooth fairy & easter buny weren’t real.

Now I have a kid & I don’t feel like lying to him.  Not like that, cuz it’s not necessary. It could really upset or piss a kid off, I suppose even though I didn’t care. It’s not like kids are going to get any less if they know the truth.  But I’m just going with the flow, cuz everyone else says “santa this & santa that.”  So whatever.  I just wonder, why do we tell kids lies that are uncalled for?  It’s fine for some lie like”this shot won’t hurt a bit”, cuz that kind of thing is a necessity.

When you’re at the checkout lane at the store, give the person in front of you a bit of space.  I know I’m not the only person that gets annoyed by having someone practically up your ass in the line.  The line’s not gonna move any faster if you’re standing on my heels.  And I know there’s people reading this thinking” What a bitch.” The people that say the last thing are the ones that get right up on someone. 

   Tonight I was at the store, in the checkout.  Put all the groceries up there, waiting for their turn to be scanned.  A lady got right behind me, not even giving me a foot of room, maybe  an inch or inch & a half.  I scooted up & she was there right on my ass, scooting up right with me.  So I stepped my foot back about half an inch & bumped into her.  She still didn’t get the point.  So then I kept kicking my leg back , hoping she’d stay back out of my space.  That worked for a little bit, then I was all finished & I got out of there.

  There was this other time that I was in the checkout lane & this young teen couple was standing behind me making out.  They stood so close, I felt I should join in.  I put my foot behind me about half an inch & knocked into them.  The girl giggles & says sorry.  Then I put my hand on my hip, so my elbow sticks out.  Once again, they knocked into me.  Now they both giggle.  I roll my eyes & say “there’s a thing called personal space and you’re in mine.  So back up.”  Then I picked up my pack of smokes & left.

   Those aren’t the only 2 occasions.  There’s many more instances.  Moral of this little story: Stay out of people’s personal spaces.  And if you don’t mind people in your space, the person in front of you may be having a bad day & you may get your head verbally ripped of for getting all up on their asses.

  On A & E, I watched a documentary on skinheads in Birmingham Alabama.  I wanted to punch each one of those ignorant racist rednecks.  They were all like “Whit power! One day we will get rid of all the blacks and jews”  How do they think that will ever happen?  Getting rid of all the blacks and jews is as posible as it is to get rid of all the stupid racist idiots.  Impossible.  They all had a crazy psychotic look in their eyes.  (coincidentally the same look my racist ex gets) I hope one day they all go to jail & get ass raped by a big bl;ack guy.  Whites are the ones who forced blacks into America in the 1st place, after forcing native americans to give up their land.  Who the hell does white man think he is?  We are all the same inside.  Red blood coursing through our veins.

  I have 2 cousins that are half black.  I’m sure they hafta deal with racism at times, but I never ever hope they are victims of hate crimes.  If so, I hope they can kick the ignorant racist moron’s ass. 

  I can’t believe racism is still around after all these centuries.  I’m kind of glad whites brought blacks into America, because America definately would be a bit duller.  We wouldn’t have had the musical talent of Jimi Hendrix, (guitar probably wouldn’t sound the same as it does today)Lionel Ritchie, Ray Chales, and many others.  We wouldn’t have the comedy of Bill Cosby, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, and many more.  We may never have known of these inventions: furnace, air conditioner, clothes drier, gas masks, peanut butter, pencil sharpener, wrench, lawn mower, refrigerator, typewriter, hairbrush, toilet, or fountain pen.

  I just don’t see why peole have to hate, burn crosses in yards, beat, and kill anyone, just because of a different skin color. 

  Who’s idea was this?  It was ok when ther were just Cops, Divorce Court, & Unsolved Mysteries, because those were the only ones then.  Just out of curiosity I went through the cable guide & counted 100 reality shows.  I know there’s more that I’ve missed & way more to come.  

  Reality shows are so hot, only cuz that’s just about the only thing there is to watch.  Personally, I only enjoy a few VH1 reality shows. I was never into American Idol, Wife Swap, Super Nany, Cops, any court one, any MTV one, Fear Factor, or The Apprentice.  I seriously can’t watch Inked or Miami Ink, only because it makes me crave another tattoo, I can practically feel it.  I just wish sitcoms would make a huge comeback & knock all these stupid reality shows off the air.   

Language is ok without cuss words, but language is better with vocabulary enhancers, which are cuss words.  I got that term from an episode of Spongebob.  Spongebob was reading graffiti and when he came across a word he never heard, a dolphin noise came out.  He walked around all day saying “How the _____ (dolphin noise) are ya?” Mr. Krabs confronted him, saying that he should never say those 7 words (14 if you’re a sailor) again.

  They are only vocabulary enhancers if you use them in moderation.  I’m mainly talking about the word fuck, but all add a bit of enhancement.

  Noun: “What a dumb fuck”

  Verb: ” Fuck me runing”

  Adjective: “Fucking great”

  Greetings: “How the fuck are you?”

  Aggression: “Fuck you!!!”

  Confusion, Curiosity or Disbelief: “What the fuck?”

  Good Job:  “Congratufuckinglations”

  Intelligence:  “He’s a fucking genius.”

  Lost:  “Where the fuck are we?”

  Pain:  “fuck! that hurt”

  Admiration: “Nice fucking tits”

  Stupid person: “dumbfuck”

  Suspicion: “Who the fuck are you?”

  Panic:  “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”

  Directions: “fuck off”

  Maternal:  “motherfucker”

  Praising the Lord:  “Jesus fucking christ”

  Be quiet:  Shut the fuck up”

  Confidence:  “fuckin’ A”

  Enraged:  “I’m gona fuck you up”

  If overused, it’s no longer a vocabulary enhancer.  Once I counted how many times 2 people used the word fuck.  19 times in 4 minutes.  Now that’s too much.  Kinda loses it’s oomph if overused like that.  9 times in 4 minutes, is a bit more of an enhancement.

  I hope you fucking enjoyed reading this. 

I’ve loved video games since the days of atari.  I was about 5 or 6 when I played atari.  Had a Nintendo when I was 13 and that’s where the addiction really started.  Up all night playing Super Mario Bro’s, Battle Toads, Mario 3 & many others that I’d go rent. 

  A few years later, I got a sega Genesis.  I only remember playing Sonic & Streets of Rage on that, but know I played a lot more that I’d rent. 

  Skipped Super Nintendo, but have played it.  Got a N64.  Loved Mario World, Goldeneye, Rush 2,Legend of Zelda, & all Mario Parties for that system.

  Back in September, I took my N64 to Slackers along with all my games for it & traded it in for a used gamecube. Now it’s January & I already have more games for this system than I ever have for any other.  I have Mario Parties 4, 6 & 7, ( still yet to get 5)Wario World, Luigi’s Mansion, Sonic Mega Collection, Spongebob the movie game, Mario kart, & Cars.  I’m highly addicted to the gamecube.   When my gamecube addiction wears off years from now, I’m finished with my nintendo line of addiction.  I will not be getting a Wii.  When I play a video game, I expect to be holding a controller & only pushing butons.  If I wanted to do the shit Wii does, I’d just break out the power pad.

I have 3 tattoos & want another one so bad I can practically feel the needle pulsating ink onto my flesh.  Even though I have 3 tats, I’ve ben inked a total of 6 times.  My 1st one was a CFH on my stomach. A year later I had flames added to it.  The next one was a rose on my left shoulder blade, which I had recolored the following year. The year after that, I got a melting peace sign  on my upper right thigh, which was redone a year later.  I need, no longer want, but need to get aliens added to the peace sign.  Out of all those times, I was inked, I only paid $100.00 for the peace sign redo.  I haven’t been inked in about 3 years & I’m joansing for it again.  It hurts, but I enjoy the pain of getting tattoed.  And having a piece of unique art on my body.  Tattoos are like potato chips:  Ya can’t have just one. 

   Females, please please look into a mirror before you go out into public.  If you don’t have a mirror, go buy one. 

  It disgusts me when I go out to a store & see a chick in clothes that are clearly too small.  She has a muffin top hangin over her jeans & under her shirt.  Or she just has a big belly & the shirt is spandex like material.  That is so wrong.  I’m sure I’m not the only person that is disgusted by that.

  It’s winter now & the only good thing about this time of year, is I don’t see that aweful stuff.  I always make sure to say something to the person I’m with about their unfitting clothes.  Or if I’m by myself, I sort of think outloud, so they  hopefully get the point and never go out into public like that again.  I have a stomach so tight, you can bounce a quarter off of it, so I can wear revealing clothes. 

  Funny thing is, the chicks I see do this are white.  Blacks, Latinas, & asians always wear clothes that fit them accordingly. 

First I’d like to do some explaning about this joke.  I had never heard of it, til last night, watching HBO.  It goes back to the days of vaudville, but no one told it on stage. Mainly just comedians told it backstage.  It was just a long raunchy joke, that always started & ended the same.   A lady walks into a talent agency.  She says to the agent “I have got a phenomanal family act, that you’d be crazy not to book.”

  The agent says “well let’s hear it.”

  The lady explains “first me & my husband are on stage with our 7 year old boy, 2 year old daughter, our pet dog, and our cat.My husband rips all my clothes off me as I rip all his off him as the children watch & undres each other.  The dog starts humping the cat. My 2 year old daughter grabs the dog’s nuts.  My 7 year old son sticks his little dick into the 2 year old’s ass.  My husband shoves his cock down my throat to the point where I puke. Everyone then dives into the puke & rolls around for a bit.  My husband then rams his large cock into the dog’s ass, & the dog takes a big shit all over his dick.  I then squat over the 7 year old & take a dump that’s so hard it knocks him unconcious.  My cat & dog come over & eat my shit.  Then comes in my gay midget cousin, with a 10 inch cock.  Who sucks my husbands shitty dick & then fucks my unconscious 7 year old boy, who starts bleeding.  Everyone licks up the blood.  I lay back & the cat comes over & licks my pussy, with its sandpapery toungue as my 2 year old daughter is licking my nipples, and my husband fucks my 2 year old daughter up the ass, whose asshole is so tiny she can’t take it.  She starts bleeding & shitting everywhere, while the midget licks my husbands hairy asshole.  Then the finally is, my recently departed granny is drug out by her hair by me & my husband.  My husband then proceeds to fuck the cold stiff corpse, while the midget fucks the cat, the dog fucks me & the 2 year old girl licks her unconscious brother’s limp dick.”

  The agent says”Woah, what do you call this act?”

  The lady replies “The aristocrats”